When I was younger I used to worry about what other people thought and said about me. It was a big source of angst and distraction from what mattered most. And then in the last 5 years I came to the “aha” realization that the person most critical of me, who was projecting negative thoughts and opinions and mean feedback— was me.

Someone asked me what I thought the big ideas of 2019 would be and I loved the question, but was also intimidated by the ask. What do I know about it? I decided to focus less on the general and more on the specific. What am I personally excited about learning more and exploring in 2019? I have been mulling it for a bit and landed on the notion that for me 2019 is about setting the foundation for the future of work.

I have always loved (other peoples’) good writing. And for many years I labeled myself as a mediocre writer. I decided it was time to change the narrative and put in the work.

Right around Thanksgiving I banged out one of my weekly blog posts on breaking out of the busy trap and moved on quickly to other things (like leftovers). I can’t stop thinking about this topic! So this week I’m revisiting it, this time exploring practical tips and life hacks on how I have tried to claw my way out of “crazytime.” 

I decided I wanted to involve my family in my quest for better clarity by learning what they think of me. Here’s what I did (so you can try too) and what I learned.

Lisa McCarthy, CEO of FastForward Group and all around powerful woman and change agent gave a great talk last year about setting your intention and vision at the Makers 2018 Conference. She told a story about how she had an “aha moment” in her life when she realized that she was projecting herself as an extremely busy person (and missing the good stuff). I am not doing her telling justice so seriously watch it and you’ll see.

She would love seeing people of all ages tap into their community and ignite their activism. She would encourage us to continue connecting and learning. Energy is contagious, especially positive energy. Start or join a movement (everyone is welcome to mine!) and keep raising your voice, and making space for others voices to be heard.

I start each day meditating to these words: thank you. I think of the people, opportunities and lessons I have experienced. We all have peaks and valleys in our lives—some people seem to have a heavier weight to bear than seems fair to me. And then I go about my day, and try to give energy to others which contributes to their peaks, good experiences and lessons. Here are some loosely connected thoughts on how I embrace gratitude and strive to pay it forward.

On her Dare to Lead hub Brené Brown writes: “I’ve spent twenty years studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy, and I recently completed a seven-year study on brave leadership. Leadership is not about titles or the corner office. It’s about the willingness to step up, put yourself out there, and lean into courage. The world is desperate for braver leaders. It’s time for all of us to step up.” So in honor of Brené’s wonderful leadership, I thought I’d dig in.

My joke (okay it's funny, but I'm serious as all get-out) to people is with me, there is no subtext, only text. I wasn't always this way. So I learned to embrace asking for directness and giving directness as well. It changed everything for me for the better. Here's how I do it.

With the last push before school and work kick into high gear, it's that time to venture out and enjoy a family trip. But between the planning, packing, and disconnecting from the office, and then the actual trip, sometimes I come home exhausted and in need of another break. I haven't gotten the formula perfected, but I've found a few things helpful in making the time with loved ones not only enjoyable, but a boost to my energy reserves.

Full disclosure. I love working on a close-knit team, but find most team building activities dreadful. Such as.... No, I don’t want to do a ropes course, nor do I want to pretend you’re being hilarious when you injure me in a friendly dodgeball match (chic eyewear and aggressively thrown balls don’t mix).

I love having people over and especially cooking for them. It used to be my thing way back in my 20's. But, life gets in the way. First, I'm just busy, and my friends are busy, and it's hard to make it happen. Second, I live in Brooklyn, and while I have arguably more space than most, it's still a tight fit. This year I decided to minimize the preparation and work of having people over, and make sure I was available to mingle and enjoy everyone. Here's how it all went down.

Time and again, I’ve found I’m happiest when I’m working for an ambitious, empathetic, visionary #1 who needs a partner to help make those ideas as powerful as they can be, and get the team (and clients and stakeholders) engaged while crushing it on high impact delivery. Here’s some hard-earned lessons I’ve gathered over the years.

Just this week I got to meet and spend time with some of the brilliant high school aged scholars from the Knowledge Society when they visited us at our NYC office from Toronto. Many inspiring and fascinating topics were explored, but I want to dig into the idea of building an ethical framework as an entrepreneur, researcher, builder and innovator. The question is: what ethical framework do you call upon in your work? The scholars were thoughtful in their answers, and volleyed back to us: what can we do to learn to be more ethical? This question has stuck with me.  

If you are like me, you might relate to my excitement about spending 5 hours and 15 minutes (not including breaks and waiting time) immersed in all things Hogwarts with my husband (my kids weren’t invited!) to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. We were transported to another world with my favorite familiar characters and some new favorites too! But as is often the case, as I experienced the world, I had some "aha!" moments about work and learning which I thought I’d share.

I work on big, complex, ambitious programs and have to push a lot of parallel work streams forward for quite a while before I get to see the fruits of my efforts. This makes small setbacks seem amplified, since me and the team are pushing up a seemingly endless hill without the emotional boost and benefit of seeing the peak until the very end. And that makes it so much harder to remain excited, focused on productivity, and objective about where things stand. This post is about building muscles you need to reach the peak. What if there was a way to reframe setbacks so we could bring the team closer, and build resilience?

So this post could have been more broadly labeled “The future of NYC”. Because I feel lots of love for the communities and friends I’ve made all over this city. I just got back from Montreal which to this day is my favorite city living experience, but even while there I still felt the pull of New Yorkers and my beloved Brooklyn.

I am a big fan of the audio format. (One exception is I prefer reading to books on tape, but love me some radio, Sonos time, and podcasts). So I thought I’d share some podcasts I don’t miss a single week of.

I have been really fortunate in the friends and colleagues who have believed in me and helped me learn and grow. I also make a point of trying to help others anyway I can.