Courage, or Misguided Confidence?
I am an Olympics fans. I look forward to it and will watch as much as I can whenever it's on. I cheer on competitors in sports I have never bothered to learn the rules for (I'm looking at you curling and ice dancing) and feel genuine pride in the athletes accomplishments.
That's why I was super confused about what to think of the Hungarian Olympic Ski team member of the half pipe and Oakland resident Elizabeth Swaney. I'm trying to understand why she would do whatever it took get to the Olympics, without being able to actually compete at an elite level.
Is she a feminist icon trying to "play by the rules" and make a statement of how broken the rules are on a national stage?
Is she an attention seeking person who wants the spotlight good or bad?
Is she exhibit #1 of the Dunning-Kruger effect?
Is she a person living with intention who sets her goals and stops at nothing to get there?
I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS. The Internet is not forthcoming with answers. So here goes some thoughts to mull.
A while back I listened to (and replayed, and shared) a great story I heard on The Moth, by Jessica Lee Williamson in a piece called Maybe, where she talks about her school talent show experiences. I AM OBSESSED with this story. For one thing, it is inspiring, and it is also super painful to hear as she tries twice to get up in front of a big room full of people and bombs. It's everyone's nightmare. One time was of her making, the other was despite her best efforts. And the result was that she walked off the stage and stayed hidden for years, afraid of screwing up in front of people. Jessica decided that she was no longer confident in her voice because of fear of failure. And after a long, long time, she was able to get back there despite that fear (See? Courage, not confidence gets it done.)
I think about my daughter and son, and what I want them to feel when they try something out of reach. IT IS SCARY TO TAKE A RISK. And it's likely that it won't be perfect. I don't want them to focus on confidence. I want them to embrace courage. AND THEN DO THE WORK.
But even if you work super hard it still could go sideways. So this leads me to my two closing thoughts.
1) You either win or you learn. If something doesn't go as planned, how can you learn the most you can from the setback or screw up? And...
2) If you have a platform, even if you have pie in your face, don't leave people guessing your goals and intention. USE YOUR PLATFORM. Elizabeth Swaney would get high fives from me if she came out and gave purpose and meaning to why she was putting herself out there, despite the disappointing results.
Be clear in your purpose and intention. Then work for it. If it doesn't happen, still let people know what you were going for. That way you can learn how to hit closer to your target next time. What Jessica Lee Williamson does so beautifully in her piece is share the "why" of her need to keep pushing herself in her storytelling. I'm with her, and I put her square in the hero section of team courage
Are you pursuing courage over confidence?
