Career Networking Fails
Here’s the scene. You’re at a conference. You’ve spent all day sitting in meetings. You’re fried. You’re hungry. The conference organizers know you want to meet other participants, so they give you 1 hour to meet other people in a densely packed room. The bar has a depressingly long line. The food is hard to eat standing up. You can’t move without bumping into people who are engrossed in conversation. It’s too loud so you can’t hear. Simply put, this experience is my own personal hell. Nothing fills me with dread more than that “networking cocktail hour” scene. By the end, I skip dinner, head to my room for some room service and a podcast. And here’s the thing. I do want to meet people. And I enjoy having unexpected conversations, or even putting myself out there.
This post has no suggestions on how I’ve learned to network through the agony (by all means share your tips, I literally have nothing) of that scenario. I have tried numerous times to do it and each time I’m left in need of a vacation and quiet time. Instead, I want to talk to the people organizing those experiences and suggest some alternatives so someone like me knows the coast is clear and it’s safe to return to the conference (or whatever).
Curate small gatherings. Recently I was invited to a small, intimate dinner with people from different ages, cultures, and industries as a part of an innovation conference. The way it worked was we were offered the option to attend an intimate networking dinner (for a fee.) I answered questions about myself, and the conference goers matched me with 9 other people to sit at a table and get to know each other. It was really nice. I met college students, other executives, and start up founders and I left feeling excited and charged, full of new ideas. The size mattered. Too few and people feel stuck for a whole dinner, too large and it’s a sea of people. The organizers also gave people conversation prompts so we could figure out what we have in common, and what we could help each other with.
Give back. Think about ways to create volunteer or charitable giving moments as a part of your event. Years ago I was at a trade show, and the organizers offered a chance to volunteer at a local park to help clean it up. IT. WAS. A. TOTAL. BLAST!!!! I remember every single stranger’s name from my “squad.” We donned bright orange coveralls with florescent gloves, and picked up trash all over the park (I wish I had a picture to share because it was awesome). I got to know my fellow conference goers, and feel connected to the location, where otherwise it would have been a blur (those hotels all feel the same after a while.) Volunteer opportunities infuse meaning into experiences.
How about intentional networking? I will put in the work to prepare for a conference. I will pour through workshop descriptions, speaker bios, and optional activities to get the most out of my learning goals. So why not put participants in the mix as resources for teaching and learning? There is an amazing company, e180 whose braindates happen through a brilliant and simple platform, where you can view a list of attendees who have offered to share something they know, or have posted something they’re seeking to learn. (You too can post something as well, as their philosophy is everyone has something to teach!) This has been such a positive experience in my networking highs and lows. I have met people in braindates who have helped drive impact in my work, and who have even become great mentors.
Normally I like to share what I have learned and conquered, but sometimes I just have to call it and admit I’m still struggling when it comes to a sea of people in that crowded room I should probably network with. That said, there are thoughtful ways organizers can help someone like me, who enjoys connecting with people, but need more curation and less “serendipity.” So if you love the thrill of the hunt in a networking event by all means teach me your ways oh wise one! And if you are at all like me and feel overwhelmed then know you are not alone. And finally for organizers of experiences where you want to connect people, dig deeper into different ways you can curate those connections.
