Career Coach: The glory and agony of being new to something

I recently hit a 10 year anniversary at my firm which was really meaningful (and surreal). That said, I have changed projects and roles every 2-3 years, which means I’m faced with ramping up and proving myself each time. Maybe because of this I’ve also worked to try to help people joining our firm or working with our team for the first time through the transition of being brand spanking new. I’ve written before about Whitney Johnson’s Build an A Team which I think about and reference often. In case you haven’t read it, she talks about how an individual’s career develops and shifts along an S curve or a learning curve. “S curve math tells us that the early days of a role, at the low end of the S, can feel like a slog. Cause and effect are seemingly disconnected. Huge effort yields little. Understanding this avoids discouragement.” This week’s post is about having empathy and sending positive energy to those (including yourself) who are new to your organization, project or team. How can we help someone contribute and get over the discomfort as they start the steep climb of their learning curve? Let’s dig into the upside and downside of some common themes.

You are not in the know. Steep learning curves are challenging in stressful and exhilarating ways. You walk into your first or third meeting and have no background or context. It’s like you arrive at a party mid-conversation. You don’t know the inside jokes. You have no clue about that “time the thing was crazy and people were so mad!” Asking about it just kills the vibe. I remember when I was a project manager placed on a new, very bonded team. They spoke in acronyms, went to the same bar every Thursday at the same time and sat in the same spot and ordered the same drinks every week. They didn’t even schedule it, it was just understood. It came to light when I scheduled a design review at 4:30 pm and no one showed up to my meeting. I couldn’t find them in the open concept space. The next day I asked the team about it and they explained what had happened. I felt pretty awkward about it and had so many conflicting thoughts. Am I expected to go? Do they even want me? How am I supposed to know about all of this? After a bit, we began to onboard other team members and I asked the team to put together a “Welcome” packet with a list of those types of things that are a part of the team culture (like Bar Thursdays) that new people would feel grateful to be included in and knowing. I wish I could say there was an easy way to go through feeling like an outsider when you are new. For my part I simply try to spend time each day (even 5 minutes) investing in relationships on the team. Show up in person when possible. Grab coffee. Volunteer. And then offer to help if you can. Be an advocate for the people not in the know. How can you make transparent what seems like a mystery box?

Rocking the parking lot. Some places do an amazing job of giving a person new to a project or firm a very good orientation to help them through their learning journey. For my part that is a very rare thing. Many of the roles I’ve taken have never existed before (and therefore have no blueprint). Or I’m coming in to something that has huge demand, but few people able to invest the time to get me up and running effectively. In most cases, I have to sit in a parking lot as I am in that ramp up phase. There was one extreme time when I had to sit at my desk for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and wait for the work to come, since my new boss was figuring things out himself, and asked me to be patient and ready to jump in when he was ready. That lasted 6 weeks! I was dying inside. Sure I found ways to invest in myself and do research and training, but I also felt incredibly guilty and insecure that I had to hold tight in a holding pattern. My knee-jerk defense mechanism really wanted to regale people with stories about all the things I did in my last role, how indispensible I was, to make sure people knew how fabulous I was even though I was literally adding no value at the moment. Here’s what we all know about this. Once you’re selected for the role, no one actually cares about that. In fact if you do slip up and start humble (or not so humble) bragging you will look like a tool. Hush that insecurity and find a way to learn and contribute in the here and now anyway you can. 

Trust takes time. Being new means nothing makes sense, so you ask obvious, basic questions, but can also unearth issues or even solutions hiding in plain sight, that the team takes for granted. It also means you don’t know how to read your new colleagues (are they being polite? did they think that question was too basic?) or when it makes sense to share suggestions or frustrations. I am a big believer in building Psychological Safety per Amy Edmondson’s work. But it doesn’t happen on day one. It requires some vulnerability, trial and error, leadership, and teamwork. So how can you build trust with individuals and as a team? One thing that worked when I was brand new to a project was to take a deep breath and ask for help. I would tell people what I was struggling with or what worried me. Maybe not every single thing because I have a big brain full of lots of worries, but I would start small with something I thought mattered and the people could either empathize with or help me with. I also would make a point of asking questions and making sure the person knew I am listening and care about their advice and answers. The most obvious piece of advice I give to myself and others to build trust, is to say you’re going to do something, and then do it. I know it sounds like a “well duh” kind of observation, but I want to be known as a person who is dependable, and who raises questions or worries when she encounters roadblocks.

Closing thoughts. Being new is both unsettling and thrilling. Especially for someone like me with such a strong sense of wanting to contribute and make a difference. I’ve learned to successfully navigate this steep learning curve through focusing on some key areas. Ask for feedback. Be present. Avoid selling yourself based on your last role. Invest up front in getting to know people. When you meet them, offer to help. Plot a study plan for self-guided learning. Document takeaways and best practices you observed/learned and share with the team when it makes sense. And most of all, be kind to yourself. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. For those of you starting out on something new, best of lunch in your journey! And if you see someone new to your team or firm, make time to encourage them and help them through it. The investment will be so worth it!