Lessons in growth mindset from my (almost) 13 year old daughter
Recently I took two days away from work and spent time at school with my kids. More specifically, I was there for parent-teacher conferences. It was fun seeing other families walking around the school. It was great to hear from teachers about my kids. But the unexpected standout experience was attending with my daughter in her individual sessions.
After all, it’s her in the classroom. It’s her doing the work. It’s her brain and whole self focused on learning. I left profoundly moved and impressed with her. Not just for her accomplishments, but for her ownership of learning, her setting of intentions and her investment in reflecting on her efforts. And these things are foundational to growth mindset.
Growth Mindset you say? Carol Dweck, author of the wonderful body of research, the Growth Mindset, explains simply what it is in a recent article in Education Week.
…students who believed their intelligence could be developed (a growth mindset) outperformed those who believed their intelligence was fixed (a fixed mindset).
The growth mindset creates a powerful passion for learning. “Why waste time proving over and over how great you are,” Dweck writes, “when you could be getting better?” It’s with that that I share what I learned from my daughter about how to nurture a growth mindset.
Setting a goal that is meaningful to you. At the beginning of the school year teachers asked students to set SMART (strategic, measurable, actionable, relevant, timely) goals. Leah rolled her eyes at the exercise as I imagine most tweens do (and did it anyway). What I observed however, was she was reacting not to the exercise itself, but the lack of context. At the beginning of the year she wasn’t yet immersed in the routine and the topics. The exercise wasn’t relevant to her. As the year went on, she started to set some goals for herself. For example, she decided to sign up for a state cello assessment, happening months away. When I asked her about what she wanted out of the experience (it sounded pretty intense to me), she thought it would be a good chance to work on new pieces, get the experience of playing in a new situation, and learning about what kids in other programs do. Are you setting an attainable goal?
Focus on improving. When I played cello, I didn’t practice nearly enough (okay, ever) when I was 13. My daughter on the other hand set a goal to learn new pieces for the assessment, and works almost everyday on practicing and preparing. We don’t remind her to do it. It’s just something she does. But it’s how she practices that is so cool. She isn’t trying to play perfectly, she’s focusing on improving, in some cases she’s honing in on a skill or part of the piece. Sometimes it’s tempo with the metronome, other times it’s intonation. At the end of her practice she’s happy and ready to move onto something else, probably a good book. Are you stalled focusing on being perfect? What if you simply started with small improvements?
Open reflection and conversation. One of my favorite moments during my daughter’s day was when we did an optional session with the public speaking teacher. The instructor went through and gave real critique and feedback on each of her speeches. My daughter openly reflected on the progression and they had such a substantive conversation. She shared how in the first speech she waited until a week before to memorize it, and realized she would have felt more confident if she had started earlier— and therefore the next speech she started practicing as soon as she got the assignment. She shared that the end result was she felt more confident and was able to push her physical delivery more that second time. Her teacher agreed that she saw the improvement. Are you seeking feedback and engaging in reflection regularly?
It’s one thing to read about growth mindset. It’s inspiring to see it in action with my daughter. I hope you can enjoy being inspired by the people in your life. I’m off to set some SMART goals. What should I do next? What will you do next?
