Leading Teams: Why should I ask more questions?
See what I did there by starting with a question? Not only do questions help frame challenges and focus the conversation, but done thoughtfully, questions are an important tool to help a team self-manage and thrive. They also have the added benefit of fostering curiosity, candor, and active listening. Let’s dig in with some techniques to try. Are you with me?
When the team is unfocused. (Or they are going down a wrong path, or they are stuck) Try using the words “what if…” to start the question. I learned this technique from my old boss she had an uncanny ability to help us dream bigger starting with these two words. This was never as evident when she got up on stage, and charged an audience at a conference to commit to mentoring to help our diversity efforts. We all dreamed with her when she asked what if we started a movement together? When I use it in meetings is if I see we’re going deep down a line of thinking too soon, limiting our options. By asking what if and then opening the discussion to a broader view, it helps focus the team’s discussion without imposing my own point of view. It taps into collaboration.
When the team is frustrated or storming. For those times when people are awfully quiet, but you can feel that tension. Or for those times when you see people dig their heels in without budging. I have a series of questions which center around the “why” and “tell me more” categories. Asking questions can help draw people into collaboration as opposed to lecturing or directing. In one instance I was working on a team trying to build an agenda for an offsite. We were far apart on the priorities for the sessions, and the team was getting frustrated. I knew what I wanted the outcome to be, but I also was concerned I was missing something since others were passionate about topics I didn’t think mattered. I asked what made them excited about this topic? What would success look like if we landed it well? What goals would this topic accelerate? And so on. My questions were not meant to challenge or judge, but to understand. In the end by asking questions in the hopes of connecting, conflict and misunderstandings can be overcome. So when faced with a tense discussion, try connecting and building understanding with great exploratory questions.
When you want to raise your leadership game. At the heart of asking questions is the idea of curiosity and empathy. Questions signal to a person that you care about them and you are listening. People trust good listeners. So instead of jumping in and solutioning, why not use questions as a way to explore and learn with a teammate? I have a mentor who is very senior, and whose day job is just in another stratosphere. I mean he is fancy. Whenever I talk to him, I am always blown away, because he rarely talks about himself, but he is present and attentive and curious. I am always so grateful because he listens attentively and picks up on nuances. He wants my advice on things! I have learned so much from him through these conversations on leadership and coaching. And his leadership style is to listen and engage. He asks so many questions and genuinely wants to know your answers.
What do you think about asking questions? What techniques have you used to create a spark?
