Failure & Learning: When you f* something up
I have a long list of fails large and small. We all do. What we do about it, how we react and build a “recover and learn from it” plan is everything. It’s also noteworthy if you’re afraid (or your teammate is afraid) to admit to a challenge or roadblock. Let’s dig deeper.
Don’t isolate yourself. I see lots of advice about how to “ask for help” and it’s great stuff. But the reason behind asking for help is worth focusing on. We work on teams. And by teams I mean we are a part of a community. Ever hear of the phrase, we succeed or fail together? Hopefully your team is full of people who share a goal, who care about you and quality work, and who would gladly help. I am so happy to help someone if I can. It feels good. So why not give me the chance to be a good team player? You are not alone. So when you reach out to get advice, raise the alarm, it’s a good thing. And when you do remember….
The earlier the better. If you have a gut feeling this is a bigger job than you thought, or you know the proverbial ship will hit the fan, advance warning is preferable. The sooner you raise the alarm, the sooner the course can be corrected, or abandoned, or decorated with balloons. I once heard someone say, “come to me not with problems, but with solutions,” and that’s certainly nice, but terrible advice if you’re blocked on how to solve it and you could just raise the flag and say “help please.”
Take responsibility. Own what you were responsible for and no more. Be vulnerable and real, without being defensive. Oftentimes these things are tricky. As an example I once made a decision without consulting a really knowledgeable colleague (who was on vacation) and ended up running smack dab into a problem which I just couldn’t solve. I knew I screwed up by not catching her before her vacation. I had every intention on collaborating with her, but so was so heads down on the deadline I lost sight of schedules. So I called her when she returned and said, I didn’t get a chance to connect with you before you went away and I know next time to try to stay close before you go. See what I did there? I didn’t blame her for being away on vacation. I didn’t raise a stink about the crazy crunch of the deadline. I owned the facts of what I wished I had done. And then we got down to work and righted the ship.
Focus on learning. Certainly problem solving and finding out the right path forward is important, but even more critical is what can we learn. How did we get here? Very closely to the resolution of the issue, ask the team to have a discussion on what happened, what would we do differently, and what positives we see? And hidden gems? You’re be surprised. Focus on actions we can take. Then it becomes less of a failure and more of a stepping stone.
What if your office has a toxic culture? Is it safe to raise issues and concerns? Most of the time we just don’t want to say we’re wrong because it feels bad. But there’s also the chance that it’s a toxic work culture where it’s not cool to speak up. So I would highly recommend the 3 steps above, but with the caveat that you have two things in mind. First, to have all of your facts clear and documented, so you come prepared and ready to face the firing line (sorry but it’s a toxic workplace so….). And two, get that resume together and find another place that isn’t toxic. Life’s too short to work in an environment where we can’t be a human and learn from our mistakes.
Now go out there and push boundaries, innovate and be brave. If you don’t challenge things you don’t change them, so worry less about perfection and more about momentum.
