Don’t forget to refuel. (Your energy is a renewable resource.)
I will admit I’m not a particularly enlightened person. I just kinda do my thing. I do just a bit of yoga, but I couldn’t tell you the differences in the types. I sometimes meditate. But it’s no more than 5 minutes and mostly a way to center and focus quickly. No big thoughts or goals other than taking a break and slowing down. I joke to my friends and colleagues that there is no subtext with me, only text. And I generally have a routine in my work and family life and when things change, all hell breaks loose.
I am a mess when I deal with jetlag. Recently I went to Amsterdam on a work trip and was on NYC time until the morning I returned, in which case I was (at least figuratively) a bicycle-riding, beer-drinking, bitterballen-eating Amsterdamer (is that a thing?). Then I’m back to NYC only to head up to Westchester for a big meeting where I was presenting and pretty convinced I sounded like a rambling hipster in the meeting. And then after 2 days of meetings, I was back home in BK and completely depleted.
I wrote in an earlier post about running a big project and how depleted I am emotionally and intellectually. And even when I’m not running something I get drained. If I go to a conference (did I mention I went to a conference in Amsterdam? I mean how cool is that????) I amp up my energy so I am present and connecting with people, and by the end of the day I am total mush (enter beer and bitterballens).
So that leads me to this realization about my own rhythm and energy level. There are times when I work and can be intense. But only for so long. It’s exhausting. And I haven’t even gotten into the insomnia that kicks in. (I invented a recipe called midnight chicken for a reason.) Renewing my energy and motivation has become something I’ve worked on for years. Here’s some thoughts on what I’ve learned. By no means an exhaustive list.
Share your boundaries. Be clear with people when you’ve reached your limit and need to recharge. Not only does it help people get to know and connected with you on a human level, but it allows them to be real people with you as well. Recently when I worked super hard to pull together a sleepover for five 11-year old girls, I was basking in happy, giggling and well-fed kids. And then we cleaned up the aftermath and I crashed and almost burned from overload. But then I said to my family I needed some “me time”. I sat on my favorite chair and read a book. And got lots of snuggles from my kids, of course. But they understood and let me relax a bit. Over the years I’ve built lots of openness and trust with my colleagues too so they understand that doing big things requires me to take care of myself. And it also builds empathy and closeness on the team, since we can focus on the care of the person who is doing extraordinary work.
Find your recharger. For me it’s reading or listening to music or a podcast. Sometimes it’s fun times with my friends laughing. My husband is a quiet guy (I’m loud by contrast) and he is largely alone all day or working with a remote team. When I get home after a day with my colleagues, it feels amazing to let him talk to me about all the things he is exploring and let him share and simply listen. I also love to cook, especially with my family. What I’ve learned is there isn’t any one thing for me, and I have to be open to what is available and soothing. The one thing that’s a constant is eating well, moving/exercise, and (trying to anyway) getting enough sleep. And don’t wait until burnout. Plan your day and even week to reset and refuel. Why do we let things get to a point where we are at the end of the line? When we are in crisis mode? Nonsense! Don’t wait until you are bleary eyed. Do small things everyday to focus on self care.
That’s all for now. I’m going to recharge by reading a book. Don’t be a stranger! Let me know how you are recharging your energy.
